College Football: Stop Throwing Stuff on the Field!

We have all had it happen to us: The call that might break the back of our team’s chances against the big rival. It sucks. It hurts. For whatever reason, a popular solution has emerged in the southern states:

Any parent can tell you that rewarding bad behavior is not a good look. As I have often stated, the Miami Screwjob was a total affront to modern-day officiating by the ACC back in September for Virginia Tech against Miami. We all remember the overturned touchdown by the Hokies against the Hurricanes by now, right? Well, the Texas fans took it to a completely different level, but it worked. Having been an SEC fan for many years, I’m almost numb to really bad officiating. This call took the cake.

It was crystal clear that the refs were watching the Jumbotron during the delay and realized they stubbed their proverbial toe. It was a bad call. What should we do? Well, it will take them at least 10 minutes to collect the Copenhagen cans and Bud Light bottles, so let’s fix it! And fix it they did. Kudos to Georgia coach Kirby Smart who told it like it is in the post-game presser.

Oof. That didn’t work out as the Kirbster had hoped for sure. While I certainly do enjoy an absolute roast job, his message was spot on. It is about the player's safety. While I don't usually take on odd jobs for the N.C.A.A., I will fix this for you post haste. Any object, ANY OBJECT (looking at you Tennessee) hits the playing surface, we are looking at a 15-yard unsportsmanlike against the home team. Problem fixed.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk, and the N.C.A.A. better make my check out to my government name. My apologies, Lane Kiffin.